Talking to you…A real big mind fuck 1/30/20

I just realized, yeah that’s right, exactly right now.

It’s not about what my mom wants anymore

Actually, that should have stopped along time ago

I have been trying to be the person I thought she wanted me to be

My entire life.

I wanted her to be proud

I tried to live up to the impossibleness

For I will never know, I can only speculate

I’ve done this at the expense of finding myself

Instead of figuring out who I am

I was preoccupied with what I thought she would have wanted me to be

But in a funny way, it dawned on me for the very first time, right now

She would have wanted me to be me

To be happy

Damn that is hard to swallow

16 thoughts on “Talking to you…A real big mind fuck 1/30/20

  1. I can relate ..but in such a different way. I am a mom and all I want is my kids to live up to being themselves and health and happy. And if they make a bad choice I will guide them but not fix it. As I was brought up . Now on the other hand my partner …… makes my kids feel they have to live up to him(wrong) and which he seems to live their life . .. so be you you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for writing beautiful words for me to comment on. Yes I totally agree, as a new mommy I’m trying my best to give her the support she needs without her being spoiled. I can only guide her down the right path the choice of whatever she wants to do and be like is up to her

        Liked by 1 person

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