This year we acknowledged my mom’s birthday. It would have been a big one – 70! We did it with food and no words, but the food was good and comfortable like her. I felt indifferent. I wasn’t sure about bringing others into this with me, but last year felt oddly insufficient and I wanted more for her. I selfishly needed more from them too. We ate delicious Swedish meatballs and dipped bread and fruits into fondue, smiled, and laughed. Her name was never spoken, and the day (as all do) came to an end. I think she would have smiled too.