I just realized, yeah that’s right, exactly right now.
It’s not about what my mom wants anymore
Actually, that should have stopped along time ago
I have been trying to be the person I thought she wanted me to be
My entire life.
I wanted her to be proud
I tried to live up to the impossibleness
For I will never know, I can only speculate
I’ve done this at the expense of finding myself
Instead of figuring out who I am
I was preoccupied with what I thought she would have wanted me to be
But in a funny way, it dawned on me for the very first time, right now
She would have wanted me to be me
To be happy
Damn that is hard to swallow