Torn – January 30, 2018

I have been torn in half.

My first family gone, the second built in its ruins.

The “ungrateful” word bounces around my head.

“spoiled little brat” slaps me in the face.

I fight back.

But, my mom died.

Ripped in two.

Split by my everyday thoughts.

Thoughts that won’t stop knocking on my door.

So softly, I am unaware.

Then loud and repetitive.

In my face, and not to be ignored.

So dizzy, I’m lost in their rotation, I stumble.

Uncontrolled, I get back up.

I cannot escape this tug of war.

I take a quick breath.

The frenzy my mind has become, starts to quiet.

In that moment, I see her.

Clarity, clouds my thoughts.

Her judgement is one of love.

I collect myself, and rise up.

This is your life, and it’s okay.

To love me, is not to hate them.

Hold me tight, and embrace what you’ve been given.

You’ll see, it’s going to be okay.

It’s going to be okay.

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