The light twinkles In a reflection Of all the things I have been and want to be It’s lonely looking out the door Once you’ve decided to leave Walking over the ashes Of everything that stood in the way Spitting and thrashing Hating it all Really hating it all Pounding Always in the same spot … Continue reading Stripped Down – January 19, 2023
I have a lot of time, on days like today. My eyes get blurry and unfocused when they have to pump me full of medicine to stop the reaction from the other medicine. So, I annoyingly drift between sleep and awake. Seven hours to be exact. The nurse that visits when the pump needs to … Continue reading Talking to you…Antihistamine 11/4/22
I see the way you move Smooth With purpose My eyes Find you easy to watch You are the husk To the outer space I no longer Inhabit
The pictures I paint in my mind. You, your beautiful A mess And strong. Your hair is dirty and unnatural . Your words come easy, And so do you. The trust you give Makes my head tilt As I look back at you With crooked eyes.
What’s your crutch, Are you still standing? Is your limp Pronounced enough, To feel the fear? Falling, Hesitation. Pride stripped down Beneath your belt. Is anyone looking?
All the beautiful places, All the beautiful things, All just one simple step Right out your front door.
Control, Of What?
My eyes too unsteady, As it hits. Focus, blurr I try again Closed then opened Rubbed raw Blinking World is shaky Untamed Unknown Spaced out Trying to snap out Ending at a compromise Tilt slightly to the left And I am somewhat free
Drop the expectations, Let them fall to the floor. Without them you are free To feel life most genuinely.
Gifts of whispering futures, Curse the living past. Present problems now. Always seeing what’s coming, At least you know when to duck.
To free my grasp, I’ve held on so tight. My jaw is clinched, Always tapping My own shoulder, A reminder to release. For a moment My grip loosens, And my teeth are unscathed.
Brain is tight. Leg is dumb. Want to play, Want to run. Have to find a different way. Pushing through, As I hold it in. Deepening the burden, That’s burying me. A secret kept. My life cut short, But I’m still living.