I have a lot of time, on days like today. My eyes get blurry and unfocused when they have to pump me full of medicine to stop the reaction from the other medicine. So, I annoyingly drift between sleep and awake. Seven hours to be exact. The nurse that visits when the pump needs to … Continue reading Talking to you…Antihistamine 11/4/22
Category: talking to you
Talking to you…7/27/22
Credit: James Webb Space Telescope Hello, after a long pause…I haven’t quit writing. I just needed a break for a bit. A project is brewing (it seems like it’s on the other side of the world), and has been my focus as of late. I hope the two worlds collide someday, but I’m just not … Continue reading Talking to you…7/27/22
Talking to you…Rabbit Hole 5/2/22
I was sitting here, in my partially comfy hospital recliner. Half awake and half in a drugged out Benadryl stupor when a woman’s voice came over the loud speaker for the whole hospital to hear. It sounded very scripted and “robot-esque”. Can you hear it? “FIRST RESPONDERS - MEDICAL EMERGENCY - CLINIC - FIRST FLOOR … Continue reading Talking to you…Rabbit Hole 5/2/22
Talking to you…3/21/22
PARTS AND PIECES Gift Here comes the red Dodge again. Parking itself in my memories. It was a snowy day, and probably icy too. The neighborhood where our street address had a nice ring to it, 802 Park Lane. One, of two houses I remember the full street address. Same neighborhood as the baby bird, … Continue reading Talking to you…3/21/22
Talking to you…2/17/22
PARTS AND PIECES No Manual, No Mother Hi mom. Wow, those words. I’ve never written them together. Now I can’t see through my eyes, darn it. I read things. And lately, I’ve happened upon a handful that make me stop, maybe shed a tear or two, but mostly just think. Think about the life I’ve … Continue reading Talking to you…2/17/22
Talking to you…Her 70th Birthday 1/25/22
This year we acknowledged my mom’s birthday. It would have been a big one - 70! We did it with food and no words, but the food was good and comfortable like her. I felt indifferent. I wasn’t sure about bringing others into this with me, but last year felt oddly insufficient and I wanted … Continue reading Talking to you…Her 70th Birthday 1/25/22
Talking to you…10/27/21
PARTS AND PIECES Sabbatical House There was this house we lived in, and it was the only house we lived in I always felt like a visitor. The sabbatical house, where nothing was really ours. The furry white rug I rolled around on, the oversized bean bags in the basement (I might have popped). The … Continue reading Talking to you…10/27/21
Talking to you…The Capitol is Watching 7/28/21
This Olympics has me thinking (uh-oh). What a horribly sad, humiliating, eye opening, real, show of strength embodied by Simone Biles. Yeah, hold on, I know everyone’s talking about it, and it already seems almost old. But this, this thing she’s done is unheard of. Athletes don’t just train their a$$es off day in and … Continue reading Talking to you…The Capitol is Watching 7/28/21
Talking to you…have I shared too much 7/27/21
My “life feelings” are just that, something you can’t touch and fleeting. They’re mine. Selfishly, I blunder them. One after another. Letting them go, when all I want to do is hold the fuck on. It might feel good for a moment…but we all know the saying…then the moment is gone.
Talking to you…2/9/21
PARTS AND PIECES The Call That night rolled around in my head like one of those marble maze games for many years clinking up against dead ends and weaving its way through my everyday experiences. Should this even be a secret? Well, it’s not anymore. My flashback always begins at the Study Center on campus. I … Continue reading Talking to you…2/9/21
Talking to you…12/27/20
PARTS AND PIECES Sewing Stockings So, I sew. Kind of, sort of. I dabble. It’s like this. My mom taught me how to thread the machine, and sew a pillow. It was fun and I liked it. I made so many pillows. I probably learned to do this (I’m guessing) when I was around 8 … Continue reading Talking to you…12/27/20
Talking to you…10/27/20
PARTS AND PIECES Baby Birds I was a talker. I am still a talker. I’ve always been a talker. My son is a talker. I get it now. He has so much to say, and it is constant. I love listening to how his mind works, and I sometimes wonder if they felt the same … Continue reading Talking to you…10/27/20
Talking to you…10/13/20
PARTS AND PIECES Image The smell of warm concrete and chlorine, the summer used to hold me hostage. There was an oversized rectangular concrete slab children climbed upon to tug and pull at their sticky bathing suits, while watching themselves in an equally large reflective piece of cloudy glass hanging on the wall. When it … Continue reading Talking to you…10/13/20
Talking to you…D-Day 7/3/20
At the hardened yet tender age of eleven, I wanted her to die. I wanted it to be over. To be free from her pain, my fears. But, instead, what time has shown me is I desperately wanted her to live. I hesitate to write about this, any of it really. Because I’m afraid I … Continue reading Talking to you…D-Day 7/3/20
Talking to you…6/13/20
PARTS AND PIECES The Red Dodge I had to be four, because my mom picked me up from preschool that day. I remember the building: hot paper, glue, ink, and the bold scent of must. My classroom was in the basement of the town’s Parks and Rec center. Other than the smells, I only remember … Continue reading Talking to you…6/13/20
Talking to you…6/9/20
Brain blurp... I’ve been told, I’m living in the past, but I feel I’m more in the present than I have ever been. How in the world is that even possible? I am finally letting myself sit with these feelings, these emotions I’ve carried with me for oh so long, but I’m right here. It’s … Continue reading Talking to you…6/9/20
Talking to you…raindrops 4/30/20
I opened my front door the other day. It was raining. Each drip looked as if it stung the cement landing quickly and bouncing sharply upward breaking into pieces. I stood there for awhile watching. I listened and I smelled. There was absolutely nothing unordinary or special, to make this memory stick. The air didn’t … Continue reading Talking to you…raindrops 4/30/20
Talking to you…Killdeer 3/8/20
I heard a Killdeer this afternoon. I saw a lady bug crawling on my windshield. The breeze huffed through the trees, then died down, and again. I stopped and looked up at the lady bug, once. She was still. I think she was holding on. Of course, she was a she. Duh. And now she’s … Continue reading Talking to you…Killdeer 3/8/20
Talking to you…2/29/20
PARTS AND PIECES Bosom My mom used to call her breasts, bosoms. So of course, I’ve been told I would toddle around the house calling out Buzi buzi buzi buzi When I was hungry. Not sure if this is something I recollect, Or just a memory placed. I’ve always thought it was a funny word. … Continue reading Talking to you…2/29/20
Talking to you…A real big mind fuck 1/30/20
I just realized, yeah that’s right, exactly right now. It’s not about what my mom wants anymore Actually, that should have stopped along time ago I have been trying to be the person I thought she wanted me to be My entire life. I wanted her to be proud I tried to live up to … Continue reading Talking to you…A real big mind fuck 1/30/20
DoRee MelNic 