Mama, please don’t go, I’m not strong enough. The memory of you, Lost in the waves of time And too volatile to prod. ~~~ Life moves fast, I had no choice. Heart breaks a thousand times each day Bellowing for you. ~~~ Your lessons are a record, In my mind, But I’m still weak Not … Continue reading Motherless Daughter – May 24, 2019
Sitting next to her, Sewing and sewing, Watching and waiting. Anticipation building. Wondering when, She’d teach me.
The sky slurs awake, As the day begins. My eyes creep open. This weight From years gone by, Alone and heavy. You never visit me while I sleep, But surround me in sorrow In my waking hour. On edge. Inhales shallow. Eyes swollen. Unnumbered hours Have passed me by Without the scent of you. Today … Continue reading Hold My Hand – May 12, 2018
My mom believed God would save her, At least welcome her. I believe, if there is a God, For her.
Come, join me. Let’s drown in sadness. Sulk in the fluid river of tears. Swim in the lakes of our demise. Flirt with what’s coming. Take my hand, join me. In this beautiful dance, But before you do Grab ahold of something That will pull you up, Remind you, You are still alive.
I didn't let myself, How dare I let myself, Why let myself. ~~~ I felt nothing but relief when it happened. The end felt freeing. I'm ok with that now, I can live with that. Little did I know, that moment also began my journey back to her.
I adjudicated to my dad The role of a lifetime, Mom. The sentence I handed down embroiled, Year after suffocating year. Waiting patiently, at the end of my fallacy, He was not a she. I created a character that did not exist. The assigned persona was destroyed. The fruition hit hard After all these years. … Continue reading I Am My Own Mother – October 1, 2018