~~~You can find me playing in the leaves~~~
So far, I’ve mostly let you piece me together, or make up your own mind. Sometimes creating someone else’s story is so much more fun. So, if you’re satisfied with what you know, I’d stop reading this post now. But if curiosities killed the cat, then here we go... I am not good at owning … Continue reading Talking to you…Nice to finally meet you 8/3/19
Put it down, they say. Enough is enough, they huff. I am mad, because I am sad And I just don’t have any energy today. To be there, like I once was.
I’ve been waiting, For you to ask, One simple question. Instead of a statement, It could change the course we’re on...
I remember that day, So very long ago. Stuck in my head, A blink of an eye, It appears Right in front of me. ~~~ I followed her up the stairs, Like you always told me to do. She was screaming And yelling, I did not understand. Did she know this would be her last … Continue reading Talking to you…I followed her up those stairs 6/28/19
Working the room, A Filial beloved Drowns in The must permeating. ~~~ Building, Layers on skin. Blinding eyes To truth. ~~~ Sitting, solitary. An empty room surrounds me. The chill of metal On my legs Pressing into my hide, As one, we sit in place. ~~~ White walls Evade emotion. Fluorescent bulbs, No windows Seal … Continue reading Obligatory Love – May 31, 2019
Mama, please don’t go, I’m not strong enough. The memory of you, Lost in the waves of time And too volatile to prod. ~~~ Life moves fast, I had no choice. Heart breaks a thousand times each day Bellowing for you. ~~~ Your lessons are a record, In my mind, But I’m still weak Not … Continue reading Motherless Daughter – May 24, 2019
Sitting next to her, Sewing and sewing, Watching and waiting. Anticipation building. Wondering when, She’d teach me.
The sky slurs awake, As the day begins. My eyes creep open. This weight From years gone by, Alone and heavy. You never visit me while I sleep, But surround me in sorrow In my waking hour. On edge. Inhales shallow. Eyes swollen. Unnumbered hours Have passed me by Without the scent of you. Today … Continue reading Hold My Hand – May 12, 2018
My mom believed God would save her, At least welcome her. I believe, if there is a God, For her.
Come, join me. Let’s drown in sadness. Sulk in the fluid river of tears. Swim in the lakes of our demise. Flirt with what’s coming. Take my hand, join me. In this beautiful dance, But before you do Grab ahold of something That will pull you up, Remind you, You are still alive.
I didn't let myself, How dare I let myself, Why let myself. ~~~ I felt nothing but relief when it happened. The end felt freeing. I'm ok with that now, I can live with that. Little did I know, that moment also began my journey back to her.
I adjudicated to my dad The role of a lifetime, Mom. The sentence I handed down embroiled, Year after suffocating year. Waiting patiently, at the end of my fallacy, He was not a she. I created a character that did not exist. The assigned persona was destroyed. The fruition hit hard After all these years. … Continue reading I Am My Own Mother – October 1, 2018
Rolling the sounds around my mouth Like Yahtzee dice waiting to be thrown. As My tongue attempts to coerce them out, Seeking to form words. They spill out, and land at my feet. I quarrel, doing an unnamed dance. My steps are callow and awkward. The lyrics end I pick up what’s left, and Stuff … Continue reading Words – August 24, 2018
There. There it is. That one cell. That, I don’t give a fuck cell. It draws you in With each curl of the finger, Every tasty bite you take. Because it doesn’t give a... And it will gladly leave you there. Right there. Where you found, that one little cell. That, I don’t give a … Continue reading Cell – April 28, 2019
I don’t remember when her scent changed from jasmine to hospital musk. She brought it home with her, And gently dressed in it. Until the end of time. The lines are blurred. There must have been a moment, I do not recount. Erased by the tick of the second hand, Another setting sun. The silence … Continue reading Jasmine – April 26, 2019
The world sure knows how to kick you when you’re up. Or, when you’re down. I mean when you’re down.
Quicker by the day, Lost and wandering And nobody Stretches out a hand. Pushing at each mention, Everything’s ok. Kept concealed. Dressed and buttoned. The best always do. I will not do it openly For, no one will ever know, But it will be by my idle hand. I promise. It comes As I go.
Each day, A new world. One I do not know. Feelings entangle, As they roll down my tongue. Outward cries meet words. Sense becomes nonsense. 'Til the next day comes, Pain released. And worth all the sorrow, That will be back for me the morrow.
Hidden, as Shadows. lurking everywhere. They feel nothing. Run them over. Stomp them. Try walking alongside your own... Attached and never noticed. A forgotten piece of you. Skulking in the phantasma, Right at your feet.