Motherless Daughter – May 24, 2019

Mama, please don’t go,

I’m not strong enough.

The memory of you,

Lost in the waves of time

And too volatile to prod.

~~~

Life moves fast,

I had no choice.

Heart breaks a thousand times each day

Bellowing for you.

~~~

Your lessons are a record,

In my mind,

But I’m still weak

Not ready to fly.

~~~

My voice unheard,

Without you

It’s been buried.

For the sake of others.

At my own expense,

To lose you all over again.

~~~

Stuffed down deep,

A place I cannot uncover.

Trying to find you

Seems nearly impossible.

~~~

You tell me it’s ok,

By sending the birds my way.

~~~

I’m holding on 

To who I want to be.

You are the light 

Shining back at me.

~~~

As I sit here

Alone in the darkness.

Too young to realize

You were my best friend.

The words unfelt,

No way to surface

In this dimension.

~~~

Many suns have risen and set.

I still feel you,

I see your sparkling eyes.

~~~

Mama please don’t go,

I’m not strong enough.

Or maybe,

I am now?

~~~

I don’t want to be.

I just want to fall apart,

And crumble into the sea.

~~~

An existence without you

Feels less than whole.

I scream for you at night

When my head hits the pillow,

And I alone, pull the covers tight.

~~~

You never come.

But do you hear me?

Into the wild,

Lost

And left.

Just the same

As I became

A motherless daughter.