I’d rather it be me, than you, You ask why. Because I know what’s on the other end. An intensity, A tightness That won’t let go. It grips you, And holds you hostage Silent to its prey. I’d rather it be me, than you. But wait, Then it’d be you.
Flying, soaring No need to come down. Between the droplets of clouds, Arms slicing the crisp, wet air. Carving out a home A place where the pull Of everyone, everything Floats far below me.
Mama, please don’t go, I’m not strong enough. The memory of you, Lost in the waves of time And too volatile to prod. ~~~ Life moves fast, I had no choice. Heart breaks a thousand times each day Bellowing for you. ~~~ Your lessons are a record, In my mind, But I’m still weak Not … Continue reading Motherless Daughter – May 24, 2019
My belly is bloated. Full of this queasiness I cannot exude. I’m left with swishing. Gurgling up into my Adam’s apple, That belongs to you.
Tossing and turning, Waving and bent. The sensation is freeing. Stretching as far as your eye will take you. Flittering as the wind flops Front to back. Whooshing in synchrony, The tippy tops. I lose myself in blowing trees, Endlessly Whirling away. Where ever your subconscious takes you.
I didn't let myself, How dare I let myself, Why let myself. ~~~ I felt nothing but relief when it happened. The end felt freeing. I'm ok with that now, I can live with that. Little did I know, that moment also began my journey back to her.
I adjudicated to my dad The role of a lifetime, Mom. The sentence I handed down embroiled, Year after suffocating year. Waiting patiently, at the end of my fallacy, He was not a she. I created a character that did not exist. The assigned persona was destroyed. The fruition hit hard After all these years. … Continue reading I Am My Own Mother – October 1, 2018