I will not burn down Your city I will not throw trash in Your street I will not yell and scream at You Or harm You I will stand up In Your moment of need I will speak with my hand on Your shoulder I will cry with You For what We have lost Are … Continue reading Let Me Stand Up – May 29, 2020
It is hard When the dark finds you And chooses Not To let you go The shadows In the clouds Are closer than you think Waiting With their wretched claws Have you ever seen them Have they touched You Melting in To who You Thought you were Reaching Scratching and biting Until there is nothing … Continue reading Into the Shadows of the Clouds – May 22, 2020
Don’t go Don’t drift away Stay ~~~ It’s been too long Far, far too long ~~~ Would it have mattered The innocence it took The ugliness it planted ~~~ To have screen shots stuck In my head ~~~ Of the things I’ve seen Things I’ve witnessed ~~~ Long before I knew where it would end … Continue reading Oblivious – April 30, 2020
Nobody And nothing Surrounds me Still, I cannot breathe
My waves crash upon your shore With a beating You will not survive. You must run from me, And never look back. Take what you have left, Or this sweet surrender Will tear you down Leaving behind shreds of your being Scattered in my sand. Unrecognizable, To my heart. It’s up to you, But I’ll … Continue reading I’ll Always Be Stronger – November 15, 2019
You knew I was broken, But you did it anyway. ~~~ Your boyish charm Mistaken for grown up ideas. The blanket you spread, A moments reach from being saved From You, But we were left alone To our own childhood misfortunes. Took what you wanted, What I was willing to give. To be seen or … Continue reading Broken – October 21, 2019
~~~You can find me playing in the leaves~~~
She is... both alive in me And gone to this world. ~~~ She is... My baggage I will never drop And always pick up Teetering on the verge of sanity. ~~~ She is... The wind That plays in the leaves That jostle the grasses To make the most beautiful Whoosh. ~~~ She is... The voice … Continue reading My Mom – September 10, 2019
I’d rather it be me, than you, You ask why. Because I know what’s on the other end. An intensity, A tightness That won’t let go. It grips you, And holds you hostage Silent to its prey. I’d rather it be me, than you. But wait, Then it’d be you.
Flying, soaring No need to come down. Between the droplets of clouds, Arms slicing the crisp, wet air. Carving out a home A place where the pull Of everyone, everything Floats far below me.
Mama, please don’t go, I’m not strong enough. The memory of you, Lost in the waves of time And too volatile to prod. ~~~ Life moves fast, I had no choice. Heart breaks a thousand times each day Bellowing for you. ~~~ Your lessons are a record, In my mind, But I’m still weak Not … Continue reading Motherless Daughter – May 24, 2019
My belly is bloated. Full of this queasiness I cannot exude. I’m left with swishing. Gurgling up into my Adam’s apple, That belongs to you.
Tossing and turning, Waving and bent. The sensation is freeing. Stretching as far as your eye will take you. Flittering as the wind flops Front to back. Whooshing in synchrony, The tippy tops. I lose myself in blowing trees, Endlessly Whirling away. Where ever your subconscious takes you.
I didn't let myself, How dare I let myself, Why let myself. ~~~ I felt nothing but relief when it happened. The end felt freeing. I'm ok with that now, I can live with that. Little did I know, that moment also began my journey back to her.
I adjudicated to my dad The role of a lifetime, Mom. The sentence I handed down embroiled, Year after suffocating year. Waiting patiently, at the end of my fallacy, He was not a she. I created a character that did not exist. The assigned persona was destroyed. The fruition hit hard After all these years. … Continue reading I Am My Own Mother – October 1, 2018
I don’t remember when her scent changed from jasmine to hospital musk. She brought it home with her, And gently dressed in it. Until the end of time. The lines are blurred. There must have been a moment, I do not recount. Erased by the tick of the second hand, Another setting sun. The silence … Continue reading Jasmine – April 26, 2019
Quicker by the day, Lost and wandering And nobody Stretches out a hand. Pushing at each mention, Everything’s ok. Kept concealed. Dressed and buttoned. The best always do. I will not do it openly For, no one will ever know, But it will be by my idle hand. I promise. It comes As I go.
Each day, A new world. One I do not know. Feelings entangle, As they roll down my tongue. Outward cries meet words. Sense becomes nonsense. 'Til the next day comes, Pain released. And worth all the sorrow, That will be back for me the morrow.
Slow motion bullet. Piercing through my heart. Bleeding out forever. The gift you’ve given me.
[Your mother died], so what. Ignore the pain Push it down Out of sight Even for you, Especially you. Until. Freedom leaves your spirit. Left with nothing, You feel nothing. Decades keep churning Looking in from the out. Until. They show up, Spicy and hot with flare. Holding out your hands, Burning everything you touch. … Continue reading Until – April 12,2019