Mama, please don’t go, I’m not strong enough. The memory of you, Lost in the waves of time And too volatile to prod. ~~~ Life moves fast, I had no choice. Heart breaks a thousand times each day Bellowing for you. ~~~ Your lessons are a record, In my mind, But I’m still weak Not … Continue reading Motherless Daughter – May 24, 2019
My belly is bloated. Full of this queasiness I cannot exude. I’m left with swishing. Gurgling up into my Adam’s apple, That belongs to you.
Tossing and turning, Waving and bent. The sensation is freeing. Stretching as far as your eye will take you. Flittering as the wind flops Front to back. Whooshing in synchrony, The tippy tops. I lose myself in blowing trees, Endlessly Whirling away. Where ever your subconscious takes you.
I didn't let myself, How dare I let myself, Why let myself. ~~~ I felt nothing but relief when it happened. The end felt freeing. I'm ok with that now, I can live with that. Little did I know, that moment also began my journey back to her.
I adjudicated to my dad The role of a lifetime, Mom. The sentence I handed down embroiled, Year after suffocating year. Waiting patiently, at the end of my fallacy, He was not a she. I created a character that did not exist. The assigned persona was destroyed. The fruition hit hard After all these years. … Continue reading I Am My Own Mother – October 1, 2018
I don’t remember when her scent changed from jasmine to hospital musk. She brought it home with her, And gently dressed in it. Until the end of time. The lines are blurred. There must have been a moment, I do not recount. Erased by the tick of the second hand, Another setting sun. The silence … Continue reading Jasmine – April 26, 2019
Quicker by the day, Lost and wandering And nobody Stretches out a hand. Pushing at each mention, Everything’s ok. Kept concealed. Dressed and buttoned. The best always do. I will not do it openly For, no one will ever know, But it will be by my idle hand. I promise. It comes As I go.