Tag: death

Stuck – March 16, 2018

It hurts, that you’re not strong enough. It hurts, that you can’t let yourself. My heart needs to heal, and I keep falling back. Back to the place where I need you. I fight the urge to be my own person, I struggle pulling away. I am so stuck to you, it’s hard to release … Continue reading Stuck – March 16, 2018 →

A Familiar Tap – January 11, 2018

The ebb and flow of where I live, Has taken its toll. Just when I have wrapped it up, and ready to throw it away. I feel the familiar tap on my shoulder. It’s on repeat, I understand. It’s there to remind me. Give me strength to forgive, move forward, accept what’s happened, and cry.

Shuffle – February 16, 2018

I shuffle through the memories of my past. As the pages turn, the smell in the air is ripe and bold. Heavy with the scent of her. I feel my heart thumping, The tears start to roll. Cannot get back what I once had, I want it so bad. He sees me suffering, or does … Continue reading Shuffle – February 16, 2018 →

Torn – January 30, 2018

I have been torn in half. My first family gone, the second built in its ruins. The “ungrateful” word bounces around my head. “spoiled little brat” slaps me in the face. I fight back. But, my mom died. Ripped in two. Split by my everyday thoughts. Thoughts that won’t stop knocking on my door. So … Continue reading Torn – January 30, 2018 →

My Protector – January 29, 2018

I try. My effort fails. You fail. You were not there. You left me by myself. You continue to leave me behind. I’ve waited for you for too long. I’ve finally stepped up to do the hard work. I no longer need you. I am grown, but my voice is still small. Scared to start … Continue reading My Protector – January 29, 2018 →

Attempts – January 29, 2018

I tried so hard…for you. I put my trust…in you. But now here I am, Right back where I started. Fighting so hard to feel whole. To feel the love through the anger. But you’ve imprisoned me in this space of perpetual conflict. Again, and again I reach out for you. It falls silently at … Continue reading Attempts – January 29, 2018 →

I Will – February 10, 2019

As the suns rays prepare to leave this Earth, I feel closest to her I sit, cozy, crossed legged and tucked underneath. I listen to their distant voices dancing back and forth, my life is still. One yells out, MOM! I am quick to answer back. Silence. He has moved on to his next task, … Continue reading I Will – February 10, 2019 →

Free – February 6, 2019

I feel most at home, alone amongst the trees. My mind wonders to thinking about life, and all that it is. Today I wonder where my mom felt most at home. Would she like to join me in silence listening to the leaves chatter in the wind. Would she want me to keep the precious … Continue reading Free – February 6, 2019 →

Oh Child – 2017

Oh child,Your mother is sick.We let you in, but hold you out.She’s going to die,But we won’t tell you.We’ll act the same,Except we know everything’s different. Oh child,We’ll build up walls around you,Keep you safe from the pending truth.If it’s only for a little while,Keep your world spinning smoothly.No need to worry yet, but your … Continue reading Oh Child – 2017 →